What Controls Variation in Human Skin Colour?

THINGS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW:



Who are you?
Hi, I'm Sara. That's at least one thing in this post that you didn't really need to know, so it's okay. Besides, I forgive you for all your sins, so I don't need any big, expressive blog post that flaunts my excellence. Please, I'm too cool for that.
I like beaches at night time, reading recipe books, watching reruns, bad jokes, comedy quiz shows, starting projects which I never finish, procrastinating, critiscising clothing and hairstyles of people on television and having the sense of humour of a pubescent twelve year old. Part of that doesn't apply to me any more.


I don't like racism, people who are flexible, people who are pretty, people who are better than me at anything, people who use apostrophes wrong (unless it's me), people who talk to blenders, people who are bitchy (apart from me, and lots of other people. Scratch that whole comment), people who are smarter than me, people who are smarter than me but act dumb because they think it's cool, people who are skinnier than me, people who are funnier than me, people with bad haircuts, people with really good haircuts, people who flaunt their inherent awesomeness in my face, people who yell at things unneccessarily, people who give into other people too easily, people who are too stubborn, people who are seriously spoilt, people who can cook better than me, people who are eating chocolate right now, oh, and not eating chocolate.

Why a blog? AND WHY NOW?
Blame Sarah. It was all her fault. Alternatively, follow her, because she's a legend. http://www.drawerofbirds.blogspot.com/. I would strongly adivse you go there. I'm essentially a cooler, funnier, less crazy version of that. Or am I? You'll never know. Or will you? Well, there's a reason to follow this blog.

Blogs are good. People often tell me I should write one. And as I've failed at everything else I've ever attempted (I'm talking twitter - which ya'll need to follow -, tumblr, livejournal, a CoS over at Mugglenet Interactive, another blogspot, a myspace...), I decided to try one more time, if only to SHOVE IT IN SARAH'S FACE. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH. Oh yeah. Disclaimer: I reserve the right to critiscise other your spelling, grammar, language, overuse of capitals (oh wait, no, never that, I encourage hearty use of the poor, neglected Caps Lock key) anything...however, if you poke a finger at me, I will smash your face in. Figuratively.

So...what does control variation in human skin colour?
I have no idea. Google it.

See, when I started typing in a witty, hilarious, creative, eye catching title, I got distracted by the drop down list of other things I've typed into boxes in the past. Thus, I put this as my title. I should warn you, that I'm really, really, really bad at being creative. And I tend to rant. And I have this weird tendency to not be funny. I'm sorry in advance.

I think awesomeness causes variation in skin colour. In a not-racist way. I mean, if you're awesome, you're comfortable with your skin colour and feel no need to tan, burn and poke it into submission (poking cures everything). So it will be natural, and thus awesome, much like you. However...this is not always accurate.

Here's a quick test.

Look at your arm.
Stand up.
Walk to somewhere with ultraviolet light.
Scratch your knee.
Lick your elbow.
If that fails, seductively lick your finger.
If it tastes like self tanner, you're doing it wrong.

And by "it" I mean "being awesome"


If I were to be, say, cooking you a delicious meal right now, what would you suggest I do?
I really feel like a crepe. So if you happen to be an amazing French chef, I'd be totally cool if you just popped up at my house with an abundance of crepes, because I really, really want one. See, knowing people who are French is great for hundreds of reasons, but it has the downside of getting an individual hooked on crepes. Unfortunately, I am currently in that predicament.


So, you sound bored. Tell me something else I didn't need to know.
Well, I have the first day of the second term of the ninth year (tenth?) of my schooling approaching tomorrow. Amount of holiday homework done? Very little. I wouldn't go as far as to say half. Maybe a quarter. Possible a third. I also have an aching, aching throat and a terribly sore leg from my attendance at a recent dance camp (don't judge me) in which I (and a group of 9-14 year olds, including the Drawer of Birds herself) performed what I have aptly named "The Stripper Move". Also, I love people, except the combined group of people I hate, which makes up the vast majority of the people I come into accquaintance with, so I suppose you could say that I'm just going to have to hang out all day for ten weeks with people who I hate, apart from the people who I don't.



What are you doing right now?
Watching The Biggest Loser finale, half heartedly, because I haven't been following the show. Oh, and I don't particularly care.

Getting angry at my computer for failing.

Avoiding talking to people of facebook.

Mentally debating getting a flu shot*

Writing a blog post that is now officially way too long so I'll close it with a picture. I might do this occasionally.

(A special picture for Sah, because she WILL read this, yo)

*This debate went:

Me (rational): Girl, you are pretty obviously dying of the flu. GET A SHOT.

Me (petrified of needles, irrational and super naive): Dude, do I look like I need a flu shot? I'M PERFECTLY HEALTHY

Me (r): You're insane, right? You're practically in a coma.

Me (i): But...NEEDLES HURT. HURTTTTTTT. In a very painful way. You don't like pain either, bitch.

Me (r): Bitch better not be calling me bitch.

Me (i): Bitch totally just did.

Me (r): Argh, you distracted me. Seriously though, the flu is affecting younger people now, not just old hags and bag people and your crazy relatives. And not everyone reacts to it the way mum does.
Me (i): Haha, you're so pretty Sara. Did anyone ever tell you that? And really funny. Seriously, you should do stand up. People will love you.

Me (r): Dude, I already know that (yes, this is rational me, shut up). Complimenting me will not help your case.

Me (i): What case? I'm your best friend. Let's go to see a movie. You want to see Date Night, yeah?

Me (r): And we could stop at the doctor for a flu shot!

Me (i): Hey, do you want a chocolate? Let's get chocolate.

And now I'm going to eat chocolate.

Seriously kids, the flu's a serious thing. Trust me, I'm half-dead here and I don't even have it, so ya'll know I'm susceptible (unless the tiredness is making me think I'm sick). So if your parents say "Hey, you should think about getting a flu shot", actually think about it. Not like me.

Damn, this is like two posts in one. SUCK IT.