Am I indecisive? Um...can I have a few moments to think about that? Urm...

So you know how a while ago I had a multiple personality discussion with myself? I'm worried that we're going to have to make that other personality of mine (because here I present you with a hearty combination of both) a permanent fixture over here, because it's getting quite worrying. So as you know, I've been sick, and my grandparents are going away soon and it's Friday night and there a big debate as to whether or not I should go at risk of infecting everyone with my death disease (NB: I have been referred to in the past as a "drama queen").





The Players


Me (r) - rational; likes cooked food and nicely prepared meals; wears shoes that fit (and carries a spare pair of socks); reads heavy novels and rational, entertaining non fiction; watches educational television (MasterChef gets a pass) and movies with messages; is the voice of reason amongst friends; protects her skin sufficiently from the sun


Me (i) - irrational; eats raw cake batter and cookie dough, as well as foods which don't require actual cooking and fast food; doesn't wear shoes often enough (ones that fit, at least); reads ridiculous romances and teenage fiction religiously; watches reality television (Survivor, note) and cheesy rom-coms (with or without the "rom" part is fine); is a complete random with no awareness of social cues; goes to the beach and gets sunburnt in twenty seconds








Me (r): So how are you feeling?


Me (i): I'm DYING. DYING I TELL YOU.


Me (r): Dude, you've been sick for three days. If you were going to die, you'd have died already. I'm feeling...a little unwell, but better than I have been feeling, it has to be said.


Me (i): Haha, yeah, I don't care. Anyway, dinner tonight.


Me (r): I know. We're in a bit of a conundrum, aren't we?


Me (i): Oh, it's so cute how you think you can use that word seriously. You're adorable. Anyway, I'm hungry, so I'm going.


Me (r): But they'll bring you a plate regardless! And we don't want to infect Sonia - she just came out of hospital!


Me (i): Yeah, for a freaking broken foot or something. Besides, it's not the same.


Me (r): I know what you mean, but we can't just think about ourselves. The grandparents are going away to Canada. Have their health in mind.


Me (i): Yeah, but...STRAWBERRY SNOW. DUDE.


Me (r): I admit, that's a really good point. In fact, very persuasive. You do realise, though, that everyone will just avoid us all night because we're all plagued out, and to be avoided? If we so much as sneeze, you just know everyone will jump up and go "DO YOU WANT TO GO LIE DOWN?"


Me (i): So I won't sneeze. I'll implode my nose.


Me (r): This is why I'm the rational one.


Me (i): Hey, they're eating pumpkin on Masterchef. Do you want some crackers with pesto aoli? 'Cause I can totally do that for you. We can share. You know we love aoli.


Me (r): True...





And then the argument never gets resolved, because yet again, I distract myself with false promises. Usually of food. Do I come off as a pig?


Don't answer that.





I just noted that both rational and irrational me are partial to the word "dude". That is an unfortunate reflection on my personality.